Envy
Realistically, we all have envy from time to time. It’s so natural and so normal. I’ve been jealous of friends who have gotten a guy I like, or that had families that could buy them cool things. I’ve been jealous of people in similar career positions as me when they’ve gotten cool opportunities that I wish I had. It’s normal. Two things that have always made me feel better is- 1. thinking about if I would really want that cool opportunity, and 2. celebrating that person. Let me explain. There are times I’ve truly considered the “opportunity” they have and realized…wait…I wouldn’t want to do that at all! HA! Why am I jealous? That helps. I also really love supporting friends by posting about them or sending them a side message to tell them what they’re doing is cool. There’s enough room for everyone to have cool opportunities, so if anything, it motivates me to work harder.
My issue lately is having certain people in my life that seem to really hate to see me doing anything cool. It actually gives me anxiety to share with them if I’m working on something cool, or if I was given a cool opportunity. I have begun to feel bad about myself in moments where I should be really proud, and it’s been pretty upsetting.
SO if you have someone in your life that kinda “dims your light”, here’s what I found. I actually googled this!
This was from a Ted Talk:
”We tend to envy those most similar to us, either in age, peer group, demographic, gender, job type, etc. He had a quirky example how few of us tend to be envious of the Queen of England because she is a bit too, well, unlike most of us. So we cannot identify with her and hence, we do not easily get envious of all that she has (you know, fame, money, a big house, etc.). On the other hand, if you are a 22-year old college graduate with a business degree failing to find your dream job on Wall Street but you see your also 22-year old classmate and friend land a position at a top firm on Wall Street (maybe even on her first try?), you bet you are going to feel envious!
Envy, in return, tends to cause sadness because it shifts our frame of reference towards what others have that we feel we should have or be entitled to have as well. Usually, like in your case, we tend to rationalize that we are, after all, just as worthy if not more worthy than the other person to receive what they received. This again leads us to reason that the world is not fair. And to be treated unfairly, as we know, causes us to feel unhappy. Inequity sucks.”
This at least helped me understand their mindset. It doesn’t make it easier, but I have learned I have to continue trying to go after opportunities and be proud of them. You should as well, and if you can remove someone who isn’t clapping for you from your life, you should.
I’m sorry-
I’m sorry that went on for a while!
Now I’ll share a great video I found of a man visiting from Japan trying all the great things in Wisconsin.
Have a Great Week!
We celebrated my daughter’s 3rd birthday this weekend, and it was a blast!
Don't apologize--that newsletter really resonated with me! Do you know, by any chance, the name of the TED talk where that quote came from? I might benefit from listening to that. :) Thanks!
Great article! Happy birthday to Olive I can't believe she is 3. The cake looks amazing and I bet she loved it 😋